gym class
I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling
a porn blog reblogged one of my selfies my only question is why
Fairy World?
Scary World
You’re not that scary.
Well, here’s a picture of your grandma’s feet!
It burns!
Fairy World?
Hairy World.
Dairy World?
Hairy World.
Oh, darn it!
you know you’ve seen that show too many times when you read all that in their voices.
the perks of dating me
- i’m funny
- i can cook (i mean order pizza) whenever u want
- i don’t have friends so we can always hang out
mom:
what do u want 4 birthdy??
me:
video gaem
mom:
no vid game, child.
me:
money
mom:
4 what
me:
for video gm ae
mom:
outsmarted agen
by michael k
I FUCKING HATE EVERUONE
S
TO
P
Hands down the best thing online
jacking off before going to sleep is truly hit or miss because you either fall right to sleep or you sit in your bed for 20-30 minutes like
“why do i continue to put myself through this?”
